Some Random Musings

It has been a while. A long while.

If there's anyone left who reads this blog, I appreciate your patience.

The title of this post and the name of the blog are much the same because, with much on my mind, I thought it might be an idea to just talk it all out right here and if it happens to grab someone's interest into the bargain then great.

So, what's news?

Well, I have finally completed my six year training as an Existential Psychotherapist. I still need a number of hours to complete my accreditation but my academic training is complete and I must now get on with looking for a part time position as a therapist and building a practise of my own. After years of study and the cash strapped nature of being a student you'd think I'd be raring to go and yet, I find myself experiencing the most extraordinary lethargy. Some of it is due to a rather unhelpful streak of pessimism that sees success as something that happens to other people and some of it is a crisis of confidence, a belief that I'm not 'there' yet. Wherever 'there' is.

Six years of training...bloody nora that's a long time! The training was...well, impossible to truly describe to someone who hasn't done it. It aged me, profoundly. Partly that was a much needed thing, my lack of maturity being a major impediment in my life. But another part of it has made me feel old before my time, a sense that, at 36, the best part of my life is behind me. Is that a part of my lethargy in moving forward post training?

I think so. I also know that my accreditation is important to me and I haven't achieved it yet. Finished my training and yet not quite finished. Not a Jedi yet. The accreditation shouldn't be that important and yet I think I've given it great significance, in my mind it sits as a final acknowledgement that my colleagues recognise me as a qualified professional, an equal, and I seem to need that. I wonder if, when I get there, it will be enough?

What else. Well, my reviewing continues apace. But here's the thing, I think I'm getting bored of it. Black Library no longer tweet or Facebook any links to my reviews for their followers so I wonder if anyone is even reading what I'm writing? I've no idea if my reviews are any good because I get no feedback whatsoever. I'm also aware that I tend to review the same few authors though I've added one or two to the list and there are a few more I want to add. As a reviewer I get free books for review and I'd like that to continue so I keep churning out the reviews. Okay, that's not entirely fair. I do really put a lot of heart into my reviews and they tend to be a very genuine reflection on my experience of reading the book in question but I wonder, is it time to stop reviewing other peoples work and start to develop my own?  Do they have to be mutually exclusive?

I mentioned a whole load of interviews in my last blog post about Games Day 2011 and yet have done bugger all about it. I've contacted Graham McNeill and Sandy Mitchell and have done little else since, the authors in question must think I've been swallowed whole by some sea creature and left no forwarding address. I really have to sit down and prepare for the interviews and get the hell on with it. It's an element of what I do for Book Spot Central that I still enjoy if for no other reason than I get to chat with people whose creative work I love. Must. Get. On. With.It.

Next up, flying. Or rather not flying. I haven't flown for a year and a half and miss it terribly. I enquired as to the cost of renewing my Single Engine Piston rating and it turned out to be around the £700 mark...! Not a huge amount of money in the greater scheme of things but more than I'm likely to see in a while. The cost of flying has increased markedly in my absence. New European legislation has brought the cost of aircraft maintenance into the "you-have-got-to-be-f***ing-kidding-me" bracket with no noticeable benefits to safety. I will confess to very politically incorrect feeling towards Brussels and their ever growing army of mindless bureaucrats whose only job seems to be coming up with legislation that makes life more expensive and complicated for no purpose!

So I turned my attention to another area of aviation that I've explored once before, Gliding. Tried it, loved it and I don't need to re-mortgage my soul to fly. Sounds great right? Wrong! Guess what, most training gliders have a weight limit that yours truly was well over. So it's diet time. Or rather as my dieting guru (aka my Mother) insists, not dieting, healthy eating. She's right, my relationship to food has always been an unhealthy one. It has been a comfort and up until now I've eaten pretty much whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it; the ol' see-food diet.

But it's well past time I dealt with that part of my Being-in-the-world and have at last discovered an incentive I can relate to, flying. So far I'm about three or four days into this healthy eating lark and it does rather suck, if only because I don't know what I can eat and I'm anxious to lose the weight as quickly as possible so that I can start my Glider training. On the other hand I know that if one loses weight quickly one is likely to put it all back on shortly thereafter. So something that normally required no thought at all is now taking up a lot of space and leaving me feeling faintly anxious much of the time. The whole idea of three square meals a day is not one I've subscribed to. I usually don't bother with breakfast and on busy days tend not to bother with lunch and so end up eating my whole days calories in one sitting. Not good. This healthy eating thing is going to demand I get myself organised and eat something even when I'm busy or can't be bothered with cooking.

In short it's really going to be a pain in the fundament. But I need to fly, so head down and get on with it, no looking back.

That'll do for now folks. Let's 'speak' again soon.

Games Day 2011

So, here I sit at the keyboard absolutely knackered after UK Games Day 2011. Part of the exhaustion was due to my decision to drive there with a couple of friends rather than take the shop coach and face the awful traffic after a long day.

Overall I had a great day and had the opportunity to chat with many of the authors including three I'd never had the chance to speak to in person. Sarah Cawkwell was there for the release of her first novel, Gildar Rift, starring her very own Silver Skulls Space Marines and believe me when I tell you that the energy of this woman needs to be seen to be believed. It was such a pleasure to meet her face-to-face and to see her in her rightful place meeting her adoring public as she signed book after book for hours at a time, greeting each and every fan with genuine warmth. A veteran performance from this talented rookie. I'm delighted to announce that Sarah has agreed to be on my hit-list for an interview, Skype style.

Sarah Cawkwell strikes a pensive pose for my camera.

I also had the great pleasure of speaking with author Sandy Mitchell whose Ciaphas Cain novels have grabbed me by the throat and won't let go. I recently reviewed Mitchell's latest Cain novel on the newly revived Book Spot Central and I had the chance to talk with the man about what's next. February 2012 will see the release of the next in the Ciaphas Cain series, The Last Ditch, after which Mitchell is hoping to alternate the Cain titles with other Black Library work which can only mean more Mitchelly goodness for us fans.

My abiding impression of Sandy Mitchell was of a real gentleman of the old school, who - while clearly a very experienced and profoundly talented writer - presents with a disarming humility. He has graciously agreed to a Skype interview for Book Spot Central though in his case he's told me that it will involve getting a tech savvy friend to set Skype up for him.

Sandy Mitchell in all his glory.

Last of the previously unmets was personal favourite Graham McNeill who was very keen to do an interview over Skype and we had the chance to chat a little about his upcoming Horus Heresy novel The Outcast Dead, a review of which I hope to publish in the next two weeks on Book Spot Central. Hopefully the interview will follow soon after.

It was great to reconnect with Chris Wraight, who as I've remarked in my reviews of his work, is a world class teller of tales and it has long been my feeling that he hasn't been given the exposure that someone of his talent deserves, something I hope to rectify in my own small way with a...yeah, you guessed it, a skype interview.

Chris Wraight and his appropriately adoring fans

During one of our quick chats during the day, when he was kind enough to spare me a few minutes between seminars/signings, he mentioned that one of his upcoming 40k releases will be a novel about the Iron Hands! They haven't had the Black Library treatment since Jonathan Green's Iron Hands novel that was last published back in 2004 and I'm really pleased that they've chosen a writer of Chris Wraight's calibre to expand the Iron Hands' mythos. We briefly discussed the challenge of writing what are effectively a bunch of inhuman bastards who stretch the definition of 'good guys' to beyond breaking point. Definitely a novel to watch out for.

My experience with Dan Abnett in our recent skype interview has put me off the written interview format for good I think. There's nothing like a real time conversation to open things up and now that my squeaky chair has been destroyed future interviews will be bereft of its high pitched interruptions.

Though I didn't have the nerve to ask him for any kind of interview I did have the chance to foam at mouth in the presence of William King. I was, and in truth remain, a big fan of his writing and the Gotrek and Felix series he penned are still personal favourites to which I return even now. He took a long leave of absence from Black Library but I'm chuffed to say that he's back, with a series of High Elf themed novels coming to a  store near you soon.

William King, Back in Black...Library! (see what I did there?) :)

Also there was the mild mannered alter-ego of author Mark Charan Newton in his day job for Games Workshop. I know he likes to keep the two worlds separate but I was so pleased to have the chance to catch up with him and talk about his work. In June this year he released the third of his Red Sun series, The Book of Transformations, and told me that the fourth and final novel in the series has already been sent to his editor and is slated for release in June next year. After this series is over he hopes to write a mystery novel set in another fantasy world of his own creation. Having read the first two books of his current series, I really loved his character Investigator Rumex Jeryd and for me he has already established his credentials as a crime/mystery writer so I'm really excited about this future project.

Author Mark Charan Newton

Next up is Aaron Dembski-Bowden who though he wasn't officially there actually sat down to sign stuff for his growing army of fans including this guy, Adam Cleveland, who, having run out of stuff to sign, just got him to sign his face! (Thanks @morbius_sire for his name!)

Adam Cleveland knows he can never wash his face again!

Aaron and I had a chance to chat and I floated the idea of us doing a skype thang which he seemed really enthusiastic about. I mentioned that we might time the chat to coincide with the release of the last in the Night Lords trilogy, Void Stalker, which he liked and that we can talk more about his work and upcoming projects which he suggested was boring...he really doesn't like the whole self-promotion thing. I'm going to have to come up with topics we can talk about that take advantage of his encyclopaedic knowledge of, and passion for, the 40K universe. Can't think of a better guy to talk 40K with! I also had the chance to chat with and congratulate Katie, Aaron's brand new wife who was both thoroughly charming and very patient with the weird guy (me) that was asking where her husband was.

Aaron and Katie Dembski-Bowden

For some reason I never got around to congratulating Aaron...I think I was too busy frothing and trying to cram all the ideas for interviews/articles (we both write for Boomtron.com/Book Spot Central) that I've wanted to run by him for a year into a few minutes. So, Congratulations Aaron! He won't read this post so I'll just have to email him; yup, I have his email address...MUAHAHAHA! It's just so unsatisfying sending him 'heavy-breathing-in-the-wee-hours-of-the-night' by email. But such is life.

There was one very pleasant surprise for me at Games Day today. My old chum and former Games Workshop colleague Neil Wylie (have I spelled your surname right Neil?) has moved on from his post at Black Library and is now a games designer and background writer for the new and very shiny Forgeworld spin-off, Warhammer Forge! Neil was a great pleasure to work with and I'm so chuffed that his great talent has at last been given an appropriate outlet. It was so damn cool to see him at the table answering people's questions about the stuff he's working on as a member of a very select group, the design team. Neil I wish you the very best of luck in your new role and hope it's the first step towards fame, fortune and shiny new toys.

Neil Wylie, games designer extraordinaire.

And now, last in deed but first in thought, is Dan Abnett and Nik Vincent, the first family of Black Library as far as I'm concerned. Dan's timetable during the day was...relentless, though he seemed to handle it all with his usual verve and charm. I never got the chance to speak to him though I'm so pleased I got to speak to Nik Vincent (aka Mrs. Abnett) who showed me the all the warmth (and did I mention patience?) that she is so well known for. It is always a great pleasure to speak to either of them and I sincerely hope to have to the opportunity to speak to Dan very soon. In fact when I mentioned to Nik that I hadn't had the chance to speak to Dan she said that I had all their details and should feel free to get in touch. Call me a girl's blouse if you must but I was really touched by that. Thank you Nik, that was so very kind of you.

I was also very pleased to hear that Nik is bringing Gilead back! Any longtime Warhammer Fantasy fans will know who I'm talking about and for those who don't...well that should clear that up. Gilead is set to return in around 10 short stories published in Hammer and Bolter with a novel to follow the year after. Very exciting news!

Dan Abnett

Dan waxes lyrical to a capacity audience during his seminar

Can't wait for next year's Games Day! And in the meanwhile, watch this space for news of upcoming reviews and interviews.

That's it, I'm spent! (throws down pen and minces off stage left)

My interview with Dan 'The Master' Abnett

Part two of my interview with Dan Abnett went live on Boomtron.com about 5 hours ago and I wanted to post a link here for anyone who wanted to stop by and have a listen. We had a conversation over Skype which I recorded and it runs to just over one and a half hours.

It was tremendous fun and I may write a post about the overall experience but for now do please head over to Boomtron and download it to your internetz friendly devices or iStuff. I'm just a little proud of it, the conversation went better than I dared hope and the credit for that must go to Mr. Abnett who took my questions and comments and ran with them into all sorts of fascinating and entertaining places.

Thanks Dan, that was a blast. I hope we can talk again soon.

A letter to my MP

Below is a letter I've sent to my MP, Mike Freer. I've wanted to write it for a while and I think the anger contained within is, in part, inspired by having held on to it for a while. I will of course post his response if and when I get one.

I have lost all hope in the UK's democracy, all the parties are much the same with different shiny faces on posters promising to help us and then screwing us sideways. Maybe this is the case in all democracies and I'm just painfully naive:

"Dear Mr Freer,

I am writing to you to register my disgust at the obscene rise in resident parking permit charges. In the current financial climate (and frankly at any other time) a 150% increase is simply ludicrous and cannot possibly be justified in legal terms as the case being brought to the high court makes abundantly clear.

Putting aside the asinine remarks of Brian Coleman for one moment, I would also like to bring to your attention the removal of all free bays from my local area. Until now those of us who were unable to afford the residents permits, or in my case refused to pay more money on top of my road tax to park outside my own house, have been able to use the free bays to park. The council's decision to remove those bays and thereby force all residents to purchase permits at the ludicrous new cost of £100 is a betrayal of those of us, myself included, who were foolish enough to vote Conservative in the last election.

I voted for you based upon the belief that the Conservative party were returning to their founding ideals, a minimalist government focussed upon the freedoms of the individual. Instead I have discovered that a Tory Barnet Council are worse, or at best equal, in taxation (secret and otherwise) and bureaucracy to the Labour government we just voted out!

My sense of disappointment is hard to convey. I sincerely regret having voted Conservative, having voted at all. It seems that this country's democracy is based upon voting, not for those who share your beliefs and ideals but for those I pray will do the least damage during their term. That is not a democracy of which I want to be a part.

Voting for the lesser of three evils is not a real choice.

I never wanted the resident's bays in the first place. To be charged over and above the ever increasing road tax to park outside my house has always struck me as a criminal attempt to drag more money from the government's favourite cash cow, the motorist. This criminality has now reached epidemic proportions under the government that I foolishly voted into office! I expect this sort of lunacy from Labour but the Conservatives? Is there any real idealogical difference between you anymore?

And as for Brian Coleman, after Mr Cameron's attempt to place the Conservative party into a more friendly light, to demonstrate to the masses that the Conservatives aren't a group of elitist rich boys who care not a jot for those of us not earning six figure salaries, I suspect his remarks have set back that goal significantly.

Can you offer me any hope that these ridiculous parking charges will be brought back to justifiable levels? Can you give me a reason to vote next time around?"

Roll a D6

Just to prove to myself that I can write a really short but welcome blog post, I just had to share this hilarious parody music video written and produced by a buy called Connor Anderson.

It's a parody of the song Like a G6 by Far East Movement and by my reckoning a vast improvement over the original, check it out!

Roll a D6 from Connor Anderson on Vimeo.

A dubious celebration

Anyone who's keeping an eye on the news or is alive/conscious in any way will be aware of the UN's air operations over Libya. This morning the RAF were giddy over their 3000 mile round trip bombing run over Libya, however, I can't help but feel that their celebration is just the teensiest bit absurd.

For me it's the equivalent of a man walking from London to Scotland because he scrapped his car the week before, convinced that he'd never need it again. It is without doubt a long walk and a great achievement but one can't help but feel that the man is a bit of a prat. Libya is a country with a huge northern coast which makes it an ideal theater for carrier operations. Unfortunately Cameron and co. saw fit to scrap Ark Royal and the Harrier squadrons leaving us with no choice but to fly half way around the world to drop some ordnance on yet another sandy, oil and blood soaked country.

Will the absurdity of the current operation move the ConDem party to reconsider the ill conceived SDSR? Nope. Cameron appears to be as stubborn as he is short sighted.

Don't get me wrong I celebrate the success and safe return of the RAF fighter crews but again can't help but feel that the RAF's (and the Army's) political manoeuvring that brought about the evisceration of the Royal Navy makes their victory a little hollow and leaves me deeply concerned for this country's safety in the long term. A carrier off Libya's coast would have been the far better option, with the ability to respond to the rapidly shifting tactical situation by having a significant hard power presence in the region.

Instead we send our Tornado's (an ageing airframe with little real future in modern conflicts) 3000 miles to throw some explosives at Gaddaffi's crumbling regime. Meanwhile the French, with their shiny Rafales and carrier Charles De Gaulle are doing the job properly with a clearly superior grasp of the strategic and tactical realities of the situation. All credit to them.

At least someone can see beyond the end of his nose...

Beware of Headlines...

I came across this mini-headline on the BBC news website and was so incensed I did something I've never done before, I registered a complaint:

"I was astonished to see your headline, "Israel approves new Jewish settler homes in West Bank". Instead of placing the focus where it belongs, on the murder of innocents, a mother, a father and three children you instead run a headline that focusses upon Israel's response to the brutal murder of her citizens. To the casual scanner of headlines it seems that Israel is up to her old 'tricks', the provocative building of new settlements. Only after clicking the link and getting to the third paragraph does your reader discover that in fact a family had been murdered in cold blood; and what's more the Palestinians are seen to be celebrating it!

Everyone has their own biases but the BBC's apparent blindness to its own prejudice borders on the pathological. I am not writing to you with hope that this will change in any real way. I just wanted you to know that it hurt."

Israel is a controversial topic, but surely we can all get on board with the idea that the deliberate, calculated and cold blooded murder of children is a horrendous act that deserves unequivocal condemnation?! Apparently not.

And before the thought even starts to form don't anyone dare say 'yes, but...'. There are no yes buts when it comes to slitting the throats of sleeping children!

The photographs of what was found inside this family home are already on the net. I cannot post them here, I cannot even look at them. On a regular day perhaps I could find the strength to bear witness to an atrocity like this; but after spending the morning looking at Japan's devastation and heart rending losses I find myself much more fragile than usual.

I'm writing this post so that their murders don't get lost amidst all that is happening in the world at the moment. In quieter times I'd like to believe that this event would have received the horrified attention of the world.

On reflection, I think I'm being rather naive.

Update 14/03/11

Since writing the above I received a response from the BBC which I wanted to post for the sake of balance and to recognise my misperception and where I think they can do more.

"Dear Mr. Sobel,

Thank you for your e-mail. We initially covered the murders here on
Saturday:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-12721170

On Sunday, the announcement about new settlers' homes was made. Our West
Bank correspondent offered analysis saying that it was "hard not to see
the timing of the announcement as linked to the killings". We felt it
was appropriate therefore to recount the events at Itamar in this
context, and the photograph on the page highlighted the importance of
the killings.

However, this was not, as you suggest, our only coverage of the deaths,
but the latest version of developments, a normal practice in 24-hour
online journalism.

Best wishes,

BBC News website"

Please understand that what I'm about to say isn't about sour grapes. I just want something like this to receive the recognition it deserves. Personally I would be inclined to link the settlement story to the article they have sent me so as to make clear what the new story follows from. I must also acknowledge that as a practising Jew I did not see their coverage of the murders on Saturday and that my complaint above was made without knowledge of this coverage. Having now read it I really don't think it contains an expression of the horror of what happened but I recognise that this is very much a personal feeling that is perhaps beyond the scope of a News agency.

However, the broader point I've made above remains true. The premeditated and targeted murder of children would, anywhere else in the world, provoke horror and disgust. In this case it seems to have received barely a whimper. I think it's fair to say that events in Japan have overwhelmed the ability of most people to focus on anything beyond it, but please, do spare a thought for the three children robbed of their parents and siblings by a vicious murder.

Catch up time...now with added Wittgenstein

Well, howdy y'all.

It has been a while since I sat down to write a proper post. Those that read my last post may recall that I had some notion of posting an academic essay of mine. I've since changed my mind. For starters I'm not at all happy with it, it's dry as a bone and despite the hours of work and weeks of stress and reading and more stress it doesn't read all that well and the ideas I've tried to discuss are too important to me to make a half-arsed job of conveying them to those outside the fold.

The essay tried to explore the concept of self-deception through the philosophy of Ludwig Wittgenstein and the role of Existential Psychotherapy in bringing self-deceptions to light and challenging the beliefs that make it seem so necessary. Not to mention how my own self-deceptions blind me in my work with my clients. Wittgenstein's work has inspired me in a way that few Existential philosphers have. His exploration of language as the building blocks of our world and its implications are as profound as they are overlooked. His writing is devoid of jargon and yet is immensely challenging to the Western mind, all the more so nowadays in a world where science and empiricism rule supreme. Where theories of mind/behaviour are postulated with all the force of holy writ.

Anyway, not posting it. It rather sucks. Which is a shame because I don't think I've ever worked harder on an essay in my life. I take some comfort from the knowledge that I picked a real bastard of a topic that is so very difficult. I'm not done with Wittgenstein though, I'm currently reading his Philosophical Investigations and struggling with it. The truth be told, his philosophy demands discussion to really understand it but alas, I've yet to find a discussion group. Yes, I'm sure there are groups online but that isn't what I meant. I meant a real, face-to-face discussion group with like minded souls. The accessibility of the internet has robbed us of that. Why meet when we can 'meet' online?

But there is so much more to language than words! So much that is lost when we write rather than speak face-to-face. Hypocrite? Yes, I suppose I am. Here I sit writing furiously while bemoaning its very real and severe limitations. But to refuse even dirty, brackish water in the desert is rather churlish and self-defeating I think. If writing is my only outlet then I must use it and equally must acknowledge its limitations.

More to language than words? Oh yes, yes, yes. Gesture, facial expression, posture, tone and rythm often say more than the words we may choose to use. And have you noticed how universal they are? Have you ever stopped to think about how weird it is that facial expressions, gestures etc. convey meaning so accurately across cultures and languages? I'm aware that there are some elements of body language that are unique to particular cultures and yet, given time, can be explained to an 'outsider' in such a way as to open it out to him/her. There is no such thing as a private language, this is a central thought in Wittgenstein's philosophy.

The Western world is convinced of the idea that words are representations of objects in the world and that a child learns what certain sounds refer to and so learns to speak. Is that really the case? Wittgenstein shows that it's a fiction that holds sway over the more delightful reality. That words are part of a web of language that incorporates words and all that I've mentioned above. Children don't learn a language in the mechanistic sense so beloved of the Scientific mind, they are initiated into language. A process taking many years and certainly beyond their school years.

I could go on and on but you really must have a look for yourself. His most accessible book is probably On Certainty. Accessible doesn't mean easy, it's really hard work but well worth the effort to engage with. Philosophical Investigations is also well worth the time to struggle with. For those who have an interest in the therapeutic application of his philosophy (and he believed his philosophical method to be therapy) you need look no further than John Heaton's excellent book, The Talking Cure.

I suppose that's as close as I can really get to show where I've been for the last few weeks. I've barely scratched the surface of what I've been wrestling with, and continue to wrestle with, but it will have to do for now. Please forgive my laziness, it's hard to find the right words in the right order to convey clearly what I've learned but I'm really tired and it's important to me to get it right. I will try again. It has had the most extraordinary effect on my work with clients. I suspect my next essay will also be focussed on Wittgenstein.

So, onto other things. Reviewing and interviewing has suffered a slowdown while I was in essay country and I'm having a hard time getting the creative juices flowing. I've got an interview to write with Dan Abnett and it's proving extremely difficult. All the authors I've interviewed to this point have been relatively new talent, what the hell do you ask the man that has done everything?! There's a little hero worship going on here and any regular readers of this blog will have heard his name mentioned in hallowed, reverent whispers. First things first, I have to write the intro...to give you some perspective Mr. Abnett is a remarkably humble and down-to-earth person who is going to be challenged by my glow-in-the-dark intro which will likely compare him favourably to the great heroes of the past. That's one hurdle I know I can overcome...I think.

It's the questions that have me stuck, what do I ask him? I know he's really involved in Marvel Comics but it's not a part of his work that I've really engaged with but I'm sure he'd love to talk about it. Also he's been writing almost as long as I've been alive so a fair few of my interview classics are going to have to be put to one side. Truth be told I've got to stop moaning and just get on with it. That creative vacuum from which ideas spring is a painful place to be and one in which I've spent a great deal of my time lately. I suppose I must buckle down and get back to it, I have to remind myself that when the flow inevitably hits I'll be loving every minute of it.

In other news, I'm skint. I've lost one of my part time jobs which means that money has been extraordinarily tight. I knew this was coming, I knew there would be a time of transition from 'trainee' therapist to qualified therapist which would require the building of a practise. I knew it would take time and leave me rather skint for a while and guess what? Knowing all that hasn't made it easier, not even slightly. I've been unable to fly for a while, though that's just as much to do with the awful weather as it is my cash strapped state.

Ooh, exciting news! Those lovely people at Black Library have added me to their reviewers list! This means that every two months they send me a box with one of every release...WOOHOO!!! This is a really exciting development that has gotten a little lost amidst my essay/cash preoccupations but I'm really pleased I was able to remember while writing this post.

For me it's a real validation of what I've been doing over the last year for BSC Review, speaking of which, my angel of an editor has offered me a payed writing gig for the site which only adds to my sense of WOOHOO! I had to turn it down because I was deeply mired in writing academic nonsense but she made it clear that the door was open if I decided it was something I wanted to do. I'm mulling it over at the moment, I hope that the review I'm working on (in the loosest sense of the word working) and the interview will give me a creative boost that might tempt me into taking up the post. It isn't a lot of money, it's more about the recognition that the offer of payment implies. I'm really rather pleased with myself (a rare event).

Still on the BSC topic, author Aaron Dembski Bowden has now started writing for the site. This is something in which I played a small role which I now mention for a brief moment of preening show-offiness.

And with that dispensed with I think I'm done for now. Bloody nora that's a long post, sorry about that. I hope you feel it was of some interest.

It has certainly served to remind me of how much I enjoy writing :)

Still not dead...yet.

I know I've been quiet of late. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, 'tis better that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing useful to say rather than spew molten randomness everywhere which can only serve to further damage our hard pressed ozone layer. Besides, in a world where climate change is an ever present worry, more hot air is probably not going to help matters.

I am currently up to my neck writing/researching for a paper on Self deception in psychotherapy from a Wittgensteinian perspective (my life is all about the fun). The deadline is in 19 days and I've yet to start the writing part. After that deadline, one way or the other, I look forward to writing a post.

I'm seriously considering posting my paper for all of you. I hope to write a paper that is accessible to all those fortunate souls who haven't read any existential philosophy and yet seem perfectly able to go on existing.

Primary Instinct by Sarah Cawkwell - review

I mentioned in my last post that I would write a review of newcomer Sarah Cawkwell's debut story in Hammer and Bolter when I was done reading it. Well, I've just finished the story, so here's the review.

The story describes the fortunes of an assault squad of Silver Skulls Space Marines, the 'Reckoners', deployed to the jungle world of Ancerios III to search out the possible crash site of an Eldar vessel along with any clues regarding the fate of the crew. Ploughing through the dense jungle the Marines discover a sinister alien life form that opens their eyes to a new threat; the implications of which are as disturbing as they are far-reaching.

The opening paragraphs build a vivid picture of the world she has thrown the squad into and I found her descriptive prose a joy to read. It seems to take every human sense into account in building the picture, leading to a remarkably holistic experience. Initially her beginner's nerves show themselves in the somewhat out-of-character dialogue of lead protagonist Brother Sergeant Ur'ten but within the space of the first few 'pages' (kindle pages) she seems to find her confidence and in the words of Dan Abnett, kick in the door and take no prisoners. The pace of the story ebbs and flows with the skill of a veteran and Cawkwell adds a very welcome sense of mystery to the proceedings as the plot unfolds.

The combat scenes are gripping and suitably fast paced while still managing to move the story forward rather than indulging in pure shooty-death-kill-in-space. Brother Sergeant Ur'ten grows steadily as a character, displaying a welcome measure of self-knowledge and a combat competence born of over a century of fighting in the Emperor's name. In addition, Ur'ten's supporting cast are equally compelling; though special mention must go to Prognosticator Bhehan, who in the Silver Skulls takes the role of Librarian with a hint of Chaplain. He is a really great character, who in truth deserves the title of joint lead protagonist as he adds a great deal of depth and subtlety to an already excellent story.

As far as true-to-canon goes, and this is a big one in this genre, Cawkwell brings the already developed background of this chapter, sparse as it is, and then adds gently to it in a way that never jars. She paints the picture of a proud and deeply religious chapter that looks to it's Prognosticators for both battle and spiritual guidance, seeing their warp powered visions as communications from the Emperor.

I really loved this story. Despite the very early awkwardness Cawkwell has, for me, really established her bona fides as a talented 40k storyteller.

I look forward to reading more, soon. (Please?)

Black Library go Digital!

I've waited a long time for this day but at last it's here. The publishers who provide me with the majority of my leisure reading material are going digital!

By the end of October, Black Library's digital store will be open and I'll be able to buy all of my favourite author's work for my Kindle. As any long time reader of this blog may remember, my reluctance to buy the Kindle was based primarily upon the fact that the sort of stuff I like to read wasn't available on it, but no longer!

As part of their publicity campaign Black Library will be releasing an e-book every Friday for the next five weeks, gratis, to give people a taste of what to expect. This week's release is First and Only by Dan Abnett. If there are any of you out there with an ebook reader, including an iPhone or iPad, head over here and download the zip file.

I think I've made my feelings fairly clear on all things Warhammer 40,000. It's dystopian Science Fiction of the very best kind and should be read by all people with a taste for SF. The reason most people don't try is because the aforementioned world is thought of as being hard to get into, I'm going to ignore the tie-in fiction snobs who think it's beneath them.

I think Dan Abnett's First and Only is a great introduction. It is a series of short stories that introduce you to a unique Imperial Guard regiment and their battles, both internal and in a universe at war. I have long considered Mr. Abnett The Master and this book, one of his earlier works, set the foundation stone in my temple of Abnett...so to speak...I don't in any way have a candlelit shrine to this most gifted author, that would be madness, MADNESS I SAY.

Ahem.

Anyway, the other little bit of exciting news from those lovely people at Black Library is the release of their new digital-only fiction magazine, Hammer and Bolter.

Anyone already familiar with Games Workshop may remember Inferno magazine, which created a space for aspiring authors to show us their work in short story form. It also gave the opportunity for established writers to delve into the 40k and Warhammer Fantasy worlds in short story format rather than the novels they are more used to writing.

Hammer and Bolter will now fulfill this role. The first issue was on a CD that Black Library made available at Games Day and I'm in the middle of reading through it and enjoying it enormously. Just one point though guys and girls, please make Issue 2 with a selectable content page! (I'm sure they're already on it but I thought I'd mention it).

The newcomer's role is ably played by Sarah Cawkwell in her debut story, Primary Instinct, a little review of which I may post here when I get to it. Admittedly I've had a peek and been very impressed at her vivid world-building prose but I'll wait until I've read the whole story before saying anymore.

So, an exciting time for me reading wise. My Kindle has gotten more use in the last two weeks than the last year and I can't wait to see what the future holds for this publisher. The digital-only format of this magazine might limit the readership initially but with more and more people with iPhones and the like, it may open this universe out to people who might not otherwise have bothered. I hope so, it's really great stuff.

Games Day UK 2010

I'm freshly returned from Games Workshop's annual main event, Games Day. I'm exhausted as only other convention goers know and I must now head over to some dive bar in Camden Town for a friends leaving party as he's heading off for warmer climes. What a day.

First off a small confession, I spent a boatload of money. This means that food is going to be scarce in the coming month but I laugh in the face of hardship...particularly when it's self-inflicted. My upcoming fast aside, it was a great day for a number of reasons which if you'll stick around, I'll now share with you.

Firstly, shiny new toys; but if the truth be told shiny new toys are buyable all year round and when added to the teeth-grindingly-frustrating queueing snafu's it means that next year I'll be ordering my stuff online and spending less time in queues that moveth not. Well done Forgeworld for putting office weenies in charge of an immensely busy retail stand while experienced retail staff were rolling posters...not your finest hour.

Secondly, I used to work for Games Workshop so it was a rare chance to catch up, face to face, with a couple of friends with whom I used to work and together foam at the mouth about all the exciting new things that the hobby is producing...at a rate guaranteed to bankrupt me before I learn anything approaching self control.

However, it was a real and truly rare pleasure to meet with all of my favourite authors in one place. For anyone new to this blog, I write book reviews and conduct author interviews for a really great website, BSC Review.com; the books I review are mostly, though not all, from Black Library's dark and dust coated halls and seeing as how Black Library is Games Workshop's publishing arm all of the authors whose books I've reviewed were there. Including awesome newcomer Aaron Dembski Bowden with whom I recently did an interview.

But here's the cool thing, I had expected to have to introduce myself to all of them. Bear in mind, this is the internet, I'd never met any of these people. Our 'relationships' were entirely confined to email and yet...each and every one of them recognised me instantly! The astonishing weirdness of being recognised by people whose work I've admired is hard to describe. There was only one person to whom I needed to introduce myself as I'd expected, Dan Abnett.

This was entirely as it should be.

I've been inspired by this man's writing for a very very long time and for this reason I've yet to review one of his books. I was afraid that my words would be nothing more than the frothy ravings of a fanboy and therefore of little use to anyone else. However, I recently decided it was time to bite the bullet and talk about my experience of one of his books in what is commonly called a 'review'. I believe objectivity to be a myth, my reviews are simply a record of my reading experience...

Anyhoo, not having done a review of his work and having only spoken through email he was unlikely to have come across my scratchings online and so I had to say hi and explain who I was. I've got to tell you all, the sheer warmth and down-to-earth nature of this man really moved me. This feeling was already engendered while I was queueing elsewhere and watching him speak to people lining up to get his autograph, each one was greeted warmly and the greeting then mirrored by his wife, another extraordinary writing talent by the name of Nik Vincent, who was equally warm and unassuming. If there were any two writers more able to rest on their laurels it's Dan Abnett and Nik Vincent, but the only thing on show was humility.

I had a chance to chat to them both later as Mr. Abnett and I discussed the options for my upcoming interview with him and was again struck by how helpful and generous he was. Alright, time to stop frothing but it's so nice to meet a hero and have him/her be all you hoped and more.

And here's another really cool thing, this was one of a number of amazing chats with authors whose work I've reviewed and their gift, admired. Mark Newton, who in his day job works for Black Library and in the cold watches of the night is better known as Mark Charan Newton, fantasy author extraordinaire. He was a real pleasure to talk to, quiet and unassuming and yet very clearly a talent to be reckoned with. I'm currently reading his second novel City of Ruin with a review to follow and hopefully soon after with an eInterview for BSC review. All in all I've got a busy few months ahead with reviews and interviews galore...I know that's only two interviews I've mentioned but there are a few more on the cards which I'm going to keep to myself for now.

I'm not going to recall the details of every conversation with all the authors I had the privilege of speaking to today, though Chris Wraight was a real gentleman and I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation; plus I had the chance to chat with Andy Hoare about Deathwatch and pick his brain for some insights I can use when running a game...I said I wasn't going to recount them all so I'll stop there.

The other little joy of the day was finding myself surrounded by people who share many of my more geek like passions, little chats together while queueing, passing comments while looking at the same cabinet filled with shiny new toy soldiers for all of us man-children.

Having the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, to meet face to face with some personal heroes all while fellow geeks thronged around us. What a day, I'm almost worried I won't be able to sleep tonight...

...I'll likely be unconscious before my head hits the pillow :)

Going postal over Going Postal!

I'm going to assume that you're all big fans of Terry Pratchett and have read his masterpiece, Going Postal. If you haven't, consider this a spoiler warning. I'm going to talk about the book and the recent television adaptation, there may well be an impassioned rant. You have been warned.

Sky One recently did an adaptation of Terry Pratchett's discworld novel Going Postal for TV which has recently been released on DVD. I bought the special edition post haste and sat down to watch it with barely controlled glee. This is one of my favourite discworld novels, the characters are all fascinating, the comedy both hilarious and insightful as only Terry Pratchett knows how and the story is grab-you-by-the...appendage-of-choice fantastic. An adaptation for television created in close collaboration with the master himself, well, this is the stuff of dreams. This wasn't the first that Sky One had done, they had also made Hogfather which was very enjoyable and stayed mostly true to the book.

With my hopes suitably high I, as mentioned above, sat down to watch. Initially it seemed that they would stay true to the book which, combined with some stunning visuals and an in-the-flesh Sergeant Angua, made me really pleased...and then they took this masterpiece and utterly destroyed it with a cruelty enhanced by the hope that had been initially engendered!

Bastards! The protagonist, Moist Von Lipwig (yes, he's heard every possible joke) is a complex and charming character who's grossly simplified in this televisual excretion and worse still a story of magnificent depth is reduced to a dumbed down made-for-TV farce that farts in the general direction of the book from which it was snatched!

Sir Terry, I am moved to ask, what on earth were you all thinking?! You got it so right the first time, why have you reduced it to such a dumb and dumber moronfest?! Reacher Gilt is supposed to be a rakishly charming, master con-artiste but is reduced to a barely sane blithering idiot whose hammed performance made watching him a problem for this Jewish boy, I don't do ham!

The relationship between Moist and Adora, which in the book is a subtle and refreshingly realistic one is made into a will-they-won't-they ride reminiscent of the worst that Hollywood would throw at us. Even more insulting you chuck in an unsubtle and patronising message about the dangers of smoking!

I realise that changes are going to be made when adapting a novel for the screen but this was an utter annihilation of what should have become an instant classic. It should have been serialised into around 6 episodes so that the true depth of the story could be appreciated by all. Of course I also realise that there was not unlimited funds and so characters and parts had to be cut, but the cut parts were replaced with such banal simplicity! Moist is told to win the race or be hanged, what the hell?! Do you really imagine your audience to be so pathetic? Must you try to pull on all the most cliched levers to get people interested, whatever happened to trusting your audience? And so subtlety and nuance are sacrificed on the altar of 'drama' aimed at the lowest common denominator!

I started to read the book again shortly after finishing the DVD, I needed to restore my sense of the story as it should have been. It has only highlighted for me what a terrible shame, a waste, this tv adaptation has been. The book is replete with powerful and emotive themes that are completely missing in the film or have been changed into an unsubtle morality lecture for the deeply stupid.

I could honestly go on and on about what was wrong with this...mess but I think my point is fairly clear. On a more positive note, honourable mention must go to Andrew Sach's excellent portrayal of Junior Postman Groat and generally speaking the casting was spot on. Charles Dance as Vetinari was a master stroke (dyed black hair would have cinched it), Richard Coyle as Moist is perfect and Claire Foy's Adora Belle Dearheart seemed to jump off the page and onto the screen. It's just a shame that such talent was wasted on a pale, pale shadow of a great story.

Jack of some trades, Master of nothing-at-all

I think it's time to accept something. I'm not a frequent poster.

I wish I was, I truly do. Unfortunately I suffer from jack-of-all-trades syndrome. I want to do everything, I keep discovering new things I enjoy doing, and seem to have a knack for, only to be distracted by something else. If I were to settle down to do a limited number of things I might begin to achieve some sort of mastery but nooo. My kitten-like attention span will outlast my interests every time. One of the stages of growing up is learning to close the circle of ones existence. To recognise the limits of time and choose what will be your life's pursuits and, importantly, what there will realistically never be time for. I can't seem to do this.

I recently decided that since I enjoyed drawing with pencils and whatnot (also a relatively recent discovery) I might get my hands on a Tablet and draw on the old PC. I figured it would take a while to get used to drawing like that but lo and behold I settled to it like a duck to water. I then added a book on cartoon drawing, which was my aim to start with, and the results of my first experiment lie below.

If you're wondering why he's wearing, what would appear to be, a pseudo-Starfleet dress uniform then your guess is as good as mine, it just kind of happened. I was only supposed to draw the head but the stylus just kept on going.

I'm describing what is, for me, an ongoing frustration.

I've also only recently tried writing as any regular readers will know, have I continued to pursue it? Nope. I started a story which got some really good feedback and which I really enjoyed, have I even looked at it in months, no. AAARRRGGHHH!!! Annoying much?

The primary reason is that the inspiration died; but a true artist pushes through that, tries to find it again rather than waiting for it to strike but since these are hobbies I find I move on with barely a whimper. Only to find myself regretting my lack of discipline a few months later. I also play the flute, something I was getting really good at before the inspiration died. Now, I've picked it back up again and am kicking myself because the flute requires the development of muscles in the lips to form what's called the embouchure, and since I've slacked off so have the muscles and I must develop them all over again...until of course I lose the will and move on to something else!

I have more hobbies and interests than any twenty people I know but lack the maturity or discipline to develop any of them to a level that my profoundly perfectionist self is happy with. I've been sitting here toying with the idea of starting a webcomic but know that it will die before it even starts, or worse still, once I've gotten going. And yet I know it's something I might do well if I could stick to it. Well, that or the any of the hundred other things I've learned about myself.

I have, over the last few years, discovered a great many talents that I never knew I had or had been told I'd never be good at. It sometimes feels like I was asleep for thirty years and have only just recently awoken to myself. As a matter of fact this is more true than I really want to admit.

I take some comfort from my work as a therapist, which continues to develop and grow. It's a rare field of endeavour where the personal and professional are often one and the same.

It seems that for the moment at least, I must continue to discover things and then watch them disappear until I am able to close the circle and discover what my life is really going to be about both beyond my professional activities and within them. The bugger is, I'm 35 and feel that I should be well past this stage but alas, it seems I still have a ways to go.

It's both a fascinating journey and source of immense frustration.

News in Brief

Well, a bit of a red letter day for me. My interview with author extraordinaire Aaron Dembski Bowden went live today on BSC Review.

The interview has been a long time in the pipeline mostly due to Aaron's insane writing schedule but at last it's there for all to see. I'm pleased overall with my questions, though there's always room for improvement, but I'm really thrilled with his answers. The interview is everything I hoped it would be. My first book review ever was of his first novel so it seems fitting to have done the interview. It looks like I'm not alone in recognising his immense talent.

My next author interview is already booked and will be with......you thought I was going to give the game away didn'tcha, no chance. Tee hee hee :~)

I'm on holiday at the moment and so tomorrow...make that later this morning, I'm going to sit down and start to work on the interview questions. I'm feeling blank at the moment but that's often the case until I sit down and get to it.

Do check out the interview and leave a comment.

I hope to have another post soon but for now I'm signing off, it's 2am and I'm exhausted.

Flying Again!

I return to you after a lengthy period of silence. Call it what you will but I've been suffering from a real dearth of writing inspiration and would rather post nothing than some mindless drivel to fill in the space.

Having said that, I'm still stuck so I'm going to give the drivel a go in the hope it will spark off some creative energy. I really need to write.

So, what's news with me? Well, after a couple of years out of it I've revalidated my pilot's license and gotten back up there in a big way. Part of me thought that flying as a hobby, which in the UK is prohibitively expensive, was something I can't afford at the moment and that there would be some maturity in being able to give it up. That's turned out to be a load of nonsense. I really missed it and whether I want to call it a lack of maturity or not it turns out that being a pilot is a really important part of me.

I was flying again on Sunday with my favourite instructor of all time to practise my forced landings and just generally polish things up. During the flight he suggested to me that we practise recovering from a spiral dive. Reheheally I thought, sounds intriguing. Dear G-d it was fun! I once did a little aerobatics and thoroughly enjoyed it, those memories were awakened by this little experience and the urge to get more into aerobatics grabbed me by the...hand and hasn't really let go. Something to hold onto for a time when I'm earning a decent wage.

Banking the aircraft over into a 60 degree turn and then pulling G in an attempt to pull the nose up...this is what leads to a spiral dive. The airspeed goes through the roof and altimeter crashes through the floor. Left unchecked you'll soon be a smoking hole in the ground. So, throttle back, level the wings, then pull the nose up gently. Let the speed drop below 100 knots then throttle up and climb away. Simple and straightforward, but to someone who generally navigates from A to B, straight and level, it was tremendous fun. By the time we landed I was asking him to show me how to recover from a spin! Another time perhaps...

At the end of our flight on Sunday (after only two hours together, turns out it's a lot like riding a bike) he pronounced me ready to go! I've got my wings back and it really feels great. Many before me have waxed lyrical about the joys of flying, I know why. There's something profound about strapping a plane to your back (the planes are pretty small) and flying wherever the fancy takes you. There's a tremendous sense of peace to be gotten from looking down at the rolling British countryside from 2400ft with all your worries back on the ground with all the earthbound people. The rumble of the engine through my headset, the familiar smell of the cockpit, the comforting sound of other pilots on the radio. It's an intoxicating place to be.

Say hello to my little friend,


I've spent some truly happy times in that little plane and have developed a real attachment to old 'Zulu Oscar'. Here's to many more years of happy flying in her!

Oh, and one more picture that I took from the cockpit. This is the mouth of the river Thames on the east coast. I'm at around 2,200ft flying in from the East and the town to the right, through the clouds, is Southend.



...Wow! Would you bleedin' credit it? Just rambling led somewhere meaningful. Time to change the title from 'Various and Sundry' to something more appropriate.

Not Dead Yet

No, really, I'm not. I know I've been quiet of late. Please don't think this means I've given up on the blogging lark, I haven't. Most other blogs I read are generally about the day-to-day life of the blogger. My life isn't that interesting, which is why I've focussed on what interests me rather than what happens to me.

The truth is that much of what is meaningful in my life I can't write about. I'm a therapist in advanced training. I can't really talk about the training because what goes on is confidential and, rather worryingly, provides me with perhaps the greatest source of inspiration, meaningful relationships and sense of belonging I have right now.

I most certainly can't talk about my clinical work for very obvious reasons.

So, what's left? At the moment a lot of personal struggle, emotional pain and no small amount of frustration. I know that some people use that in blogs to great effect. I don't believe I'm one of them. It's not that I'm incapable of speaking openly. It's that I'm not willing to put deeply personal material on the interwebs for all to see, I just don't feel safe to do it. Besides which, it really isn't that interesting.

So, please bear with me. The inspiration to write, to be creative, will return.

I hope.

The Arms Trade Equivalency

I hope you'll forgive the Big Bang Theory-esque title but I've been on a bit of a Big Bang Theory bender for the last two weeks.

This is actually a serious topic but the scale of moral bankruptcy at the heart of the international arms trade is so horrendous as to border on the farcical, hence the comedy title. The more one explores this particular business the more one is forced to recognise that this 'civilised' world of ours is so much horse manure. The men and women in this trade aren't evil in the traditional sense of the word though those at the top certainly come close. They have families, they sing lullabys to their kids, give to charitable causes, help old ladies cross the road and when you pass them on the street they, generally speaking, don't reek of brimstone.

And yet they are involved in the most legal-yet-heinous trade imaginable. There are a number of books on the topic as well as this recent expose on how the UK governement has set up a Quango (Quasi non governmental organisation) to facilitate the growth of such companies. When I read the expose I wanted to say to its author, dude, this isn't news. Our government and governments all over the world have been bending over backwards for the arms trade since time immemorial. Despite all the exposes, books & documentaries it has continued, nay, expanded exponentially!

Make no mistake, weapons are necessary. Therefore their trade is necessary. What I'm talking about is the utter lack of regulation or even the whiff of moral guidance at the heart of this trade.

However, when such people are pinned down and asked how they live with themselves when they knowingly sell weapons to regimes with records of gut wrenching human rights abuses they answer, almost to man/woman "Well, if I don't sell them the weapons someone else will. So I may as well make the money and then use it to right all wrongs."

Okay, arms dealers don't say that last bit but governments do. They say, well, the arms trade is a reality that isn't going to change anytime soon. Why would we close off this huge potential revenue for our economy when everyone is in on the game? Let's sell weapons to all and sundry and in addition to then knowing what they have, including strengths and weaknesses, we will have loads of money available to combat their evil in other ways. I mean after all if we don't sell them guns, aircraft, tanks etcetera someone else certainly will.

Here's the bugger though. I can't argue with that. I really want to but the logic seems flawless. If Britain (Her arms dealers anyway), for example, decided to bow out of the unregulated arms trade and agreed to sell weapons only to those who they are confident will use them for self defence or some other morally defensible use, then Britain will lose out billions of pounds and do absolutely nothing, nothing at all, to stop the sale of arms to 'nations of concern'.

And so, Britain makes no effort to change and in fact goes out of its way to support an unregulated arms trade and so does everyone else because there is little point in doing otherwise. In addition, the tax earned on these huge arms deals can be used to support much needed change in countries of concern. Then, should the government have a brief call of conscience and decide to go into said country and clean things up they will be intimately familiar with the weapons being pointed at their soldiers. That last comment is only slightly tongue-in-cheek.

Can anyone answer this question, what is the flaw in the argument presented above? There needs to be flaw!

I can think of one reason to stop the unregulated trade. It's morally wrong to sell weapons to people who will use them for evil purpose regardless of how you'll lose out monetarily. It's really as simple as that, however, I need a counter-argument that will leave a mark on people apparently not swayed by ethical or moral concerns.

We call them politicians.

An Election of Personalities

For those of who live somewhere else on this planet of ours, Great Britain aka the United Kingdom aka England...bloody hell, why do we have so many names?! ...Anyway, we British types are about to have our general election.

On May 6th people all over the country will be entering a polling booth and putting a mark next to their candidate of choice and so will a new government be born, we hope. However, one theme that I keep hearing from journalists, print, radio & television, is their concern that politics, and more specifically the election, is fast becoming a game of personalities over policies. This is generally spoken of in what I feel is a rather superior, smug tone that tells you in no uncertain terms that they will be voting based solely on the candidates policies.

Well, how lovely for them. I started thinking, what do I look for in a candidate? Am I persuaded by personality or policy or both? And if it is personality alone that hooks me, is that a bad thing?

No, I don't believe it is a bad thing. I believe an ideal would be to pay close attention to both but if I make my decision based on my perception of their personality it is a valid use of my vote. Why? Well, a big part of our personalities is our collection of values, morals and beliefs with which we face the world and make decisions. In an ever changing world I use the moral compass that my upbringing, learning and experience has given me to decide what's right, what's wrong and what's somewhere inbetween.

When I base my voting decision on personality, it isn't a case of 'ooh he has a nice smile'. It's about my belief that this candidate seems to share my values, my view of the world. I say belief because we never entirely know what goes on in what Terry Pratchett so poetically calls 'the darkness behind the eyes'.

Today's news is full of Gordon Brown's microphone gaff in which, forgetting that he had a mic pinned to his lapel, made a critical remark about a voter he had just spent some time with. This has of course created an uproar about the difference between his public and private face. Let me tell you something, our public faces are no less a part of us than our private faces. Ian Dunt, editor of the excellent Politics.co.uk, has written a very eloquent article addressing the hypocrisy of the media in holding Mr. Brown to standards that few human beings achieve in a lifetime.

Okay, I'm getting off my point so back to it.

My point is this, policies change, the world is ever changing. Basing my vote purely on policies that may well prove unrealistic, no longer necessary or even based upon flawed reasoning seems foolish. However, if I choose a candidate based on my perception of his/her personality or put another way, the collection of values and beliefs that forms the core of their decision making selves then at least I know that regardless of what the world throws at us this person will make a decision based upon a similar set of values to my own.

What more can I realistically ask for in so uncertain a world?

DearthCon 2010

I know it's been a short while since I last posted but rumours of my death were greatly exaggerated. I've been really busy and, if I'm honest, trying to recover from a touch of burnout.

Okay, now that I've made my excuses I can get to my point. No, I'm not announcing a new convention in the UK as the title of this post may suggest.

I am in fact mourning the utter dearth of good scifi/fantasy conventions in this part of the world with my own inimitable literary excretions. I have searched this great interwebs of ours to see what was on offer and recently came across one that gave me some hope. Eastercon 2010 a.k.a Odyssey 2010 at the Radisson Edwardian Hotel near Heathrow in London. I couldn't go for the first two days but I was hoping to go on the Sunday with some like minded friends.

So, the night before we checked out the following day's programme to see what we could look forward to...well long story short. Nothing. Unless of course I wanted classes in BDSM, yes seriously. What the hell that has to do with SciFi or fantasy I have no idea but there it was on the schedule along with Ikea classes and other assorted nonsense. Most of the good talks were over and done with on day one of the convention followed by two more days of almost unbroken banality. My narrowly avoided experience is echoed by this blog post written by author extraordinaire Graham McNeill.

The convention before that, for me anyway, was the MCM Expo. I went there very excited and returned thoroughly underwhelmed. I was worried about spending too much money, I needn't have. There was nothing there worth buying. In the end I bought a hardback copy of the Watchmen graphic novel just so I could pretend excitement about the whole day.

To be honest some of this is a case of "take a cell/mobile phone into a third world village for the first time" syndrome. What I mean is that before I was made aware of what the world has to offer in terms of conventions, and by 'the world' I mean the ol' US of A, my standards and expectations were set really low. However, now that I maintain an online 'connection' with the likes of Felicia Day, Wil Wheaton, Scott Kurtz, Mike & Jerry at Penny Arcade (all convention stalwarts) and see the amazing...yeah I'll say it, inspiring conventions that they attend and in the case of Penny Arcade Expo, make, and frankly my old two cans and piece of string setup just don't cut it anymore. I want an all singing, all dancing mobile phone! Or, metaphor aside, a decent convention with decent guests about more than just SciFi/fantasy books!

Convention organisers, how about paying attention to the ever growing gaming culture, whether computer/console or tabletop? I think I remember Jerry Holkins (it may have been Mike Krahulik) once saying that Penny Arcade Expo aka PAX was the convention that should have existed but didn't. Sadly we in the UK lack the visionary types like Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik to make the convention that is so sorely lacking here.

I think the reality is that geeks, already a (vocal) minority, are really small in the UK compared to the States. I think convention organisers look at their marketing numbers and give up. I think they're wrong.

There are more of us than you think. You build a decent convention that really represents the geek scene, invite some of the names I've mentioned above and we will come. In a comment I left on her blog, Felicia Day told me that she would love to come to the UK for a convention appearance.

Would someone please make the convention that doesn't exist but really should here in the UK? I would, I've honestly thought about it, but my time is spoken for.

Is it only the Americans that have what it takes to celebrate everything geek?