So where did the story go? Well, I deleted it. Not totally of course but having gotten some really useful feedback from some very talented friends I decided I wanted a do-over.
Hi everyone, I'm Phil and I'm a perfectionist...Hi Phil!
I joke but it's a real problem. Once I recognised what they were telling me I was no longer comfortable leaving it up there. I tried to tell myself that it was my first attempt and should bear witness to my sitting down and getting on with it at last. That idea lasted all of thirty to forty minutes. I got this knot in my stomach and after a moments contemplation I realised why. There for all the...two or three of you that had seen it were my many and varied mistakes and I needed to do better! The pace of the story was far too slow, I tried to cram too much information into too small a space without really moving the story forward and the lengthy descriptions really didn't help build a picture for the reader.
I want to do it better, I need to do it better. It will never be perfect, that's both a part of the human condition and one of the real buggers about being a perfectionist. It is unattainable.
What really surprised me about the writing experience was how all my own issues were brought to the fore by the writing process. It shouldn't have surprised me that doing something creative, a deeply personal experience, would reveal some of the values/issues at the very heart of who I am. And yet surprised I was.
Fantastic! It now lends this new endeavor a broader context. Not only am I working to realise a fledgling talent that I've wanted to express for years. In the process I will have a chance to wrestle with some personal demons and maybe, just maybe, I'll win one for a change.
Like I said, watch this space...